Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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