Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
