I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
