I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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