I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
