i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
