Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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