So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I don't think brook has ever known best
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
