Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
