i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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