i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
