her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
