Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
