You can't special order awesome
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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