i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
