I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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