ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
