that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
