if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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