Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
