She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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