True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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