...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
