The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
