Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
