The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Tell her she can't have a vagina
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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