Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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