his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
