i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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