when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
