I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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