my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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