oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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