is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
