your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
