She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
