rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
nutella sex= disaster
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
