Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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