Buhtt sex?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
