I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
