hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize