Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
