Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
