Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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