I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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