come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
