he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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