FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
