Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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