it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
