Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
