I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
