ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
