Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
