Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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