I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
