you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
