Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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