i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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