I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
