Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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