I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dignity is for republicans.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
