On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
3pm strippers are depressing
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
