Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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